The Spiritual Meaning of Illness

What my ear infection revealed about my life.

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

I woke up yesterday morning, straight out of bed at 2 AM with an ear infection. I haven’t slept since.
But this ear infection it’s not random. I don’t believe illness ever is.

Half the reason I couldn’t get back to sleep, aside from the excruciating pain, is because I knew deep in my bones that there was a deeper meaning why I can’t seem to catch a break lately.

After just coming off a four-day flu, and right as summer holidays for the kids commenced, this one hit differently.
Deep in my ear. In the place where we listen.

Of course, being me, I looked into the spiritual meaning behind ear infections.
And I found exactly what I expected:
“Not wanting to hear. Not feeling heard.”

And there it was.

Not feeling heard.

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A Sacred Letting Go

I’ve been struggling silently with the weight of living in a place that doesn’t feel like home. For four years, this has been my reality. I have tried desperately to make it work.

Mexico has held me, yes.
But every part of my nervous system has been telling me:

“It’s time to go back.”

I have been ignoring the very real signs my body has been giving me. That it’s been stuck in a state of fight or flight. My nervous system has felt like it’s constantly on edge, scanning for safety, belonging, and connection.

I am not living aligned with my values because I value family. And even though the family I have built is right here with me, they are not all here. My oldest son moved back to Canada 2 months ago.

My support system is not here.

Year after year, I’ve compromised this truth for the sake of harmony. For everyone else’s comfort except my own.
For my relationship.
For stability.
For “what makes logical and financial sense.”

But my body has started to speak louder.
And now it’s shouting.

Because the ache isn’t just in my ear.
It’s in the parts of me that have waited too long to be chosen. The parts of me that long for me to choose me.

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Here’s what I know:

The body is always honest.
It doesn’t care about timelines, logic, or who might be disappointed.
It tells you when you’re out of alignment.
It tells you when your truth isn’t being honored.
It tells you when you’re not being heard, especially by yourself.

And the cost of staying silent is starting to feel heavier than the risk of choosing myself.

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Photo by Abby Dinosaur on Unsplash

Eventually, You’ll Be Forced to Listen

This isn’t a dramatic declaration.
It’s a clear reckoning.

I’ve hit a point where I can’t afford to live disconnected from my truth anymore, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

And if that means making hard choices, I will.
Because I’m no longer available for a life that doesn’t feel like mine.

I am on the precipice of making a really, really hard decision that’s going to affect everyone involved, and this is what’s been silently wearing at me.

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If your body’s been speaking to you through fatigue, illness, discomfort, restlessness…

Ask yourself what it’s trying to say.
Then listen.
Not with fear.
But with reverence.

Because when the body speaks, it’s not just asking for healing. It’s asking for alignment.

And I’ve decided to answer. I’m calling in all of the angelic support that surrounds me to help me through this process.

I’ve acknowledged it will hurt.

I’ve surrendered to the fact that it’s going to be hard.

And I am trusting that it’s all perfect.

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