Yesterday, I Stepped into My Greatest Challenge Yet

Something unknown, that feels so big. And this is how I am choosing to move through it

I began to feel it welling up the afternoon before. I knew the time I had been thinking about for so long was coming in less than 24 hours, but the fact that it was actually becoming a reality was overwhelming.

I can’t give the full details… but I am sure those who have been reading and following my journey have a hunch.

This big life transition has been on my mind for years, and I finally developed the courage to make it happen. I decided to do it like ripping the band-aid off. Long goodbyes are hard.

But here’s the thing. When I finally made the decision and committed to it…

Everything began to align.

The resentment I was feeling began to melt.

The validation I was seeking was no longer something I was searching for.

And the biggest shift I noticed was with my marriage. My relationship almost immediately transformed. I can feel the energy of it blooming into something amazing.

This is what I want to touch on over the next few posts: Codependency.

Yes, even in marriage. In fact, mostly in marriage. Many people speak of the dependency of the wife on the husband, but not many speak of the dependency of the husband on the wife.

One person believes they need the other, while the other depends on the other needing them.

One person becomes the broken one needing fixing, while the other thrives off being the fixer.

And while this is a beautiful dynamic in its own right of love and support, it can go south when each individual forgets their own personal power.

Their own needs.

Their own dreams and desires.

And when one finally chooses themselves, their dreams, their desires, their path… The other sees the possibilities they couldn’t see before. They begin to feel their own power rise, their own vision become clear.

This is the most I will touch on the topic today, as it’s still brewing and I am still contemplating it.

But I think a lot of what was keeping me stuck in indecision was the fear of separating myself from that codependency that had begun to feel so comfortable.

The main idea of this short post today is this:

When you finally decide to do something that scares you, but you fully commit to it, you rise into your power.

And that energy of certainty fills everything around you.

It gives life to everything that once felt stuck, stagnant, and dying.

It inspires, moves, and revives.

And this is the energy that I am sitting in right now.

While the path ahead still feels a little unknown, a little scary, and too big to see too far, I can sit in the energy of knowing it’s all good.

That I am supported, that I am loved beyond measure.

And with union, divine union, in a marriage that once felt like it was suffocating with codependency… There is new life being breathed into it.

A new chapter.

Another piece to our story.

We just celebrated our 12-year wedding anniversary, and this year it feels new. I am so excited to write this next chapter with the only man I choose to ride this life with.

I have my own personal definition of union now:

Two lives uniting as one. Choosing to lift each other up, even when it hurts, even when it’s hard. Choosing you first so they can choose themselves. So they can choose you again and again. And so you can choose them, again and again. Two lives growing together, expanding together, conquering challenges together. Union is the expansion of each individual soul into one, greater purpose.

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