Spirituality Has Become a F**k Around and Find Out Epidemic

The danger of 'spiritual play', and my temezcal experience in Mexico.

**This post will be the first of a series of stories I want to share that I experienced in my spiritual journey. Experiences that showed me the truth and the dark side of spiritual communities, cults, and groups of people that are playing a dangerous game with spirituality.**

My very good friend spoke the most powerful words to me today. I’m not sure if this quote comes from somewhere else, so I apologize that I cannot credit it. She said:

Oooff… really take that in.

Jesus also said:

“Worship no man.”

I exhausted myself chasing enlightenment. I think we’re all chasing it, even if we don’t know it, but some of us go hardcore. So hardcore, we think we’re getting closer, when in fact, we’re straying further and further away.

And I didn’t even go that hardcore. I dabbled and committed to some things that I truly resonate with. Much of it has made me who I am today. Some of it remains, some I let go of.

Sometimes I wonder if those who go really hardcore are more exhausted than I was… trying to find something that was simply inside them all along, and so easily accessible.

I know eventually, everyone will reach the realization that I did.

Your evolution is supposed to be simple. Indoctrination and social conditioning made it hard.

Thank goodness for the emergence of social media, which gave us access to information at our fingertips. Thanks to social media, many people were able to begin exploring new philosophies, form new beliefs that serve them, and cross new avenues, and for many, they were introduced to spirituality and began their awakening through some form of social media.

But social media has a very dark side, which has bled into almost every single spiritual community and modality. And maybe people aren’t ready to hear this…

But spirituality is a matrix, too.

We’re all looking for something higher than ourselves, but missing the point that the higher thing outside of us is us - our Higher Self. The higher mind. Higher Consciousness.

This is simply an introduction to the 3 MAJOR IMPACTFUL EXPERIENCES that brought me to this conclusion.

In the coming posts, I will tell you about these 3 moments.

One involved a very cunning psychopathic online stalker who infiltrated my mind, made me believe he was God, and ended up threatening my life (I was unaware of what was happening until it got scary)…

One involved a “movement” called the Sophia Code, which wasn’t all that bad, except I noticed that I was getting attached to a belief system as the be-all-end-all, and my intuition was telling me to get out before I get sucked in.

One involved a recent Temescal experience here in Mexico, where everything BUT healing took place.

These will all come as separate posts and stories. They were all very impactful, and I am finally ready to talk about them now.

These stories will be important, for context, because I thought I was completely okay. I thought everything was fine. I didn’t realize that sometimes the path of spirituality causes the ego to form a safety net. But that safety net distorts the very real danger that lurks.

Today, in this introductory post, I want to point out something very important.

Notice how all methodologies point towards something higher or above us? Or they make us feel like we should be doing better? Yes, even more prevalent in spiritual communities, especially New Age. People look for gurus to put on a pedestal. Some communities place ETs and galactics on a pedestal. Everyone is looking for someone outside of themselves to show them the way.

We place things on a throne. Not just people, but how we eat, how we dress, how we perform ritual, how we express ourselves, how we do business, how we attract clients, how we are supposed to appear to others…

These are all ideals we’ve placed on a pedestal.

And those powerful words spoken by my friend suddenly make so much sense:

“Until you throw everyone and everything off the throne that you are meant to sit on, you will suffer.”

Notice where you’re attached. Notice where you’re chasing. Notice how easy it is to start straying from your truth because the ego wants a sense of safety.

All of this, I believe, is due to our egoic fear of the unknown.

We want to cling to something, so we don’t have to be in a void. Because the void is such a limitless, vast space, full of potential, and that is scary.

We cling so we can have someone to go to who has answers for us. So we don’t have to go within to find the answer…

Because going within would mean facing traumas, fears, and parts of us that we hate, dislike, and reject.

Our ego hates feeling rejected.

I’ve never done ayahuasca, cacao, or peyote (well, once, and I’ll explain that in the temescal post.) I’ve never gone on a pilgrimage, smoked tobacco through a pipe, gone vegan, or pointed my butthole at the sun. But there are people that do!

And to each their own, if that makes them feel good, but I have to wonder, because I was there once:

How often are they checking in with themselves to assess if they are doing those things because they feel called to, or because someone else said it was the way?

Because when I look back now, a lot of the things I’ve dabbled in, I dabbled in because somewhere along the way I heard that it was trending, or the path to healing, and I was curious… but then I got attached.

And usually, when it’s not meant to be on your path anymore, it will come to a grinding halt, sometimes painfully, like it did for me three times.

I did spend a long time practicing Kundalini Yoga (and still practice today), dedicated to the Sophia Code (which I later had to step away from), and learning Tantra, Ayurveda, and Yogic philosophy (still totally my jam!). Like I said, some things stuck because they are meant to.

But along my path, I learned a lot about this path of spirituality, this endless desire to find enlightenment. This idea of enlightenment has been skewed.

Mostly, what I have concluded is that a lot of the people who claim to be your leader or guru… are egotistical liars or inundated with dark energy and influence.

“Haaa! Stephanie said it!”

Oh yes, I did.

And this game of life — this ‘Game of Thrones’, as my friend said is really all about figuring out that you’re supposed to get on that fucking throne. No one else.

This is about YOU and YOU, baby.

There are 3 key moments along my spiritual path that catapulted my growth, but also showed me the very dark side of spirituality.

Spirituality’s Sacredness is at Risk

We took the sacred out of spiritual and dressed it up in boho clothes. We took the sacred out of plant medicine and turned it into trip-out parties. We took the meaning of yoga and added cool poses and spandex. We took the sacredness out of blessing our food before the kill and turned it into veganism and activism. We took the sacred out of ritual and invited all kinds of people with all kinds of energies into the circle, with no real gatekeeper, no watcher, no SAFETY.

It’s become a freaking playground. A free-for-all.

And I don’t think people are ready to know what can of worms we’ve opened up in the process.

Regardless, it’s all part of our learning and evolution. And I’m excited to talk more about it in my next few posts.

Stay tuned!

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