Return to Self: The Final Initiation of the Mother
This is for every woman who's mothered everyone but herself and is now standing at the precipice of power, wondering what happens when she chooses herself.
There comes a moment… a quiet, sacred, undeniable moment, when you realize the identity you built… no longer fits.
You feel it in your body before your mind catches up.
A tension in the chest. A grief in the bones. A whisper in the womb.
It doesn’t matter how much you love your children or how deeply you’ve poured into their becoming. Eventually, we hear the whisper…
At some point, you hear it:
“But where did I go?”
This is the final initiation of motherhood.
Not the first cry or the first graduation… those were all moments that built your story. That allowed you to feel the very real beauty of your selfless work.
But it’s the moment you feel the ache to return to yourself and finally choose her. When you hear your Higher Self saying, “It’s okay, it’s safe to step into your next.”
But your ego wants to hold on to every fiber of this identity you’ve become so incredibly attached to.
There is grief in letting go.
We’re not letting go of our children, but of the version of you that mothered from depletion and self-sacrifice.
The one who said yes because she didn’t know another way. She simply wanted what was best for everyone… forgetting about her.
The one who swallowed her needs so others could breathe easier.
Because she thought that as long as everyone was happy she would be happy. And now, she’s realizing that is not the case.
You look back and realize:
I’ve been building a life around everyone else’s desires.
I’ve shaped myself to fit their comfort.
I’ve played roles that kept them fed, them safe, and me safe… but I feel small.
And now?
Those roles are shedding.
Not because you’re broken. But because you’re becoming.
An Initiation
Letting go is the hardest part. And not because you’re letting go of your children, never. Because you are letting go of an identity that has kept you comfortable, complacent and feeling purposeful, for so long.
You’re letting go of the “good mom” narrative.
Letting go of the woman who kept it all together.
Letting go of the people pleaser, the fixer, the one who earned her worth through sacrifice.
Maybe you left a corporate job many years ago so that you could care for your kids and you stepped into that role, as homemaker, giving it all you had.
Maybe you allowed your husband’s career to flourish while you quietly kept the house in check, the appointments met, the birthday parties planned and the school schedules organized.
And maybe now you’re asking: “Now what? What’s next?”
This is where the Priestess rises.
This is where you stop asking for permission to have a self.
This is where motherhood becomes a portal to your infinite nature.
This is where it hurts though, because you feel yourself seperating, detaching from the identity. You feel a void calling you forward.
Something new. Something you don’t yet know how to identify with.
But you’re still clinging because somehow, the role of mother means “my kids” and you can’t possibly imagine life without them. Even though you know they are still, forever your children, you believe stepping into your personal power means you’re turning your back on everyone you’ve said yes to for so long.
Only you’re really, just choosing to say YES to yourself now, too.
You’re Not Abandoning Them… But You’ve Abandoned Yourself
You are not abandoning your family.
You are returning to the woman who can love them without abandoning herself.
You are not becoming selfish. You are becoming whole.
And the world will not always understand this evolution. Your family might not understand either…
But your soul will.
This is my work now.
This is what I walk women through in silence, in sound, in sacred movement:
The reclamation of the Self.
The rise of the Matriarch.
The initiation that doesn’t get celebrated… but changes everything.
And not because I’ve done it but because I AM WALKING IT.
I am IN IT. My journey is the medicine. The realness is the healing. The community is the safety. Knowing you’re held, knowing you’re not alone, and knowing that this is an initiation into your greatest empowerment…
That is the medicine.
So if you feel the pull, the ache, the readiness, the holy rage of it all…
Come closer.
You don’t have to mother yourself alone anymore.
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