No More Self-Help Please, I Need to Feel
What you're seeking isn't motivation, it's emotional resonance
I know, how contradictory of me to write a post with this title. Stephanie, the “self-help” queen with all the tricks up her sleeve to help others feel better.
Albeit, these techniques I have mastered and used through the years have carried me, and each one was a piece to my puzzle. Each tool, a dive deeper into my truth and my embodiment. And I will continue to use these and teach these probably until the day that I die.
But yesterday, I was feeling heavy. Yesterday, I simply wanted to feel my emotions.
After feeling frozen in my feelings for a while, I decided to move them with some soothing somatic yoga. Great. Felt a little better.
But I knew the process was not complete. It was like my whole day was a ritual that I was performing to allow what was being to simply be.
So, on my way to the store to grab some groceries, I opened YouTube like I usually do, to listen to something. Typically, I’m looking for something uplifting. But I noticed that the more I scrolled, the more I was turned off by what was being presented.
I simply wanted to listen, to feel.
Not to be motivated.
Not to “fix my mindset.”
Not to coach myself into another version of “high vibes only”, or toxic positivity.
It felt like everyone was trying to convince me that my feelings were a problem.
And that I needed to escape them STAT.
And then I realized that all I really wanted was to listen to my own guidance, my own thoughts, my own emotions. And allow them to be.
Regardless, I continued my search for something that would meet me in that place. You know that tender, in-between space where you’re not broken, but you are aching, and you just can’t really find the words for it.
And all I found was advice.
Mindset tips. Productivity hacks. How to feel better.
How to escape your body and your emotions.
It occurred to me that the world is filled with this toxic problem, and hardly anyone is talking about it. The world has convinced all of us that we need to be fixed. That our emotions, as informative as they are, are a problem.
In that moment, I didn’t want to feel better.
What if I just wanted to feel honestly?
What if I needed someone to sit with my sadness, and not spin it into a lesson?
Most of what we consume today is built to fix.
But you never needed fixing. You are not broken. You are magnificently and divinely perfect, and these emotions you are having? You needed to have them. They are part of your journey. They are informing you.
No Longer Seeking to be “Fixed”
In that moment, I simply needed a mirror. A moment of attuned presence. the kind that would validate for me: “You’re not wrong for feeling this way.”
There’s a word I’ve been sitting with: emotive presence.
It’s what so many of us are craving when we scroll, search, or click.
We’re not actually looking for more inspiration, and for the love of GAWD, we are not looking for another formula!
We’re looking to be witnessed.
We’re looking for a space where the body can exhale, and where our emotions can be felt, not packaged. A place where our experience is valid, even if it’s messy, contradictory, or unfinished.
What we’re looking for isn’t self-help.
It’s self-honoring. It’s emotional companionship.
And it’s the medicine.
So this is for you if no one has told you today that:
- You don’t have to make your emotions digestible.
- You don’t have to rise above them to be worthy.
- And you don’t have to be motivated or productive to matter.
Sometimes, the most sacred thing you can do is sit down, close your eyes, and feel everything that’s been asking to be felt. Let the tears come. Let the rage rise.
Let yourself be numb for a moment.
This is healing, too.
☕ Your donations encourage me to keep sharing my voice through this free publication and continue doing my work in the world. Your support is deeply appreciated. If you enjoy my story, feel free to BUY ME A COFFEE here. ☕
Share my work with another person who may be feeling this…
The Temple Doors Are Open
Radiant Reunion is a 5-day guided somatic experience designed to bring you back to the girl you used to be… before the world told her to quiet down and be easy.
It’s not about healing harder.
It’s about remembering who you were before the survival kicked in.
🎧 Downloadable. Body-based. Ritual-led.
Available soon!
Here’s what you’ll receive immediately upon joining the waitlist (free to join the waitlist):
➡A daily regulation practice to anchor your nervous system
➡Access to a private Facebook Temple to integrate and be witnessed
The entire journey will include:
- Downloadable daily audio rituals plus an integration worksheet with integration homework (one day grace between journeys)
- A daily practice to ground and regulate you
- A Conscious Grieving Workshop to release what’s no longer yours
- A private Facebook temple for integration and witnessing
You don’t have to do this perfectly.
You just have to feel ready to feel again.
The Reunion begins soon.
✨ Join the waitlist now →