Weekly Reflection: Confronting Shame for Personal Freedom
Why talking about it makes it disappear
How deeply has your shame cut you?
How deep into a depression has it taken you?
How many times have you told people that ‘everything’s fine’… when it wasn’t?
We can spend so much time deep in shame, thinking we’re the only ones feeling the intensity of the pain we feel.
We spend time in our story, saying, “I did this.” But here’s what’s true: shame shields solutions (I heard this today on the Mel Robbins podcast featuring Tiffany Aliche.)
Shame shields solutions.
Shame wants to stay hidden in your body and your psyche. It wants to hang out as long as possible, convincing you you’re the only one feeling this pain.
What happens when you name it? It gets found out.
Suddenly, it’s no longer hidden, because the person you opened up to has a similar story. And so does the next person. And the next person.
Suddenly, shame is seen for what it is: A LIAR.
Because finally, it’s not hiding inside you, it’s out in the open. It’s no longer lurking, it’s being called out.
Suddenly, you’re not the only one feeling this pain. Others are, too, and it was hiding within them.
Your story is powerful, and your truth must be heard.
No one is perfect, we’ve all made mistakes. And if we can stop painting this picture of perfection that is so truthfully unachievable, then other people can see the reality of what it actually means to be human.
Humans make mistakes. We make a LOT of mistakes. But it’s our judgment of them that causes pain. Speak of your mistakes, so others can let their guard down.
Let others know that they are not the only ones.
I spent so much of my life beating myself up because social media tried to convince me I wasn’t being perfect enough, that I made too many mistakes.
Now, I know that my mistakes led me to my greatest gift… my truth.
My truth, my realness… that is my gift. My gift doesn’t need to hide anymore, under a facade of perfectionism, covered in a heavy dose of shame.
My shame revealed my gifts.
I’ve learned, that the more I talk about my mistakes, and speak about the things I’m ashamed of, the more I learn that it’s okay, and it’s always been okay. I discover that I am accepted, and that the only person really not accepting me… was me.
I was holding myself to such high standards, I created a mental prison. A mental torture chamber where I continuously abused myself mentally and spoke to myself in a way I would never tolerate being spoken to by anyone else.
The more I named the shame, the less of a grip it had.
And I think that you should name your shame, too. So you can be free.
FULL COMPLETE BREATH
A quickie embodiment class to bring you back into your body and reset.