PART 1: I Canceled My Wedding Twice, Planned it 3 Times, Then Married Him.
2 Part Series: The story of why I wouldn't have had it any other way.
**NOTE** As I began writing this story, I realized how much of a story there actually is to tell! So this is going to be the first part of a two-part series. If you would like to read the meat and potatoes (which will come in part 2), make sure you subscribe to get it in your inbox!
Sometimes I get down in the dumps thinking I don’t have an elaborate hero story to share with the world that has catapulted me into a dark night of the soul and massive awakening. You know, the kind where your life suddenly takes on an entirely new trajectory and you write a book then save the world?
But then I remember all these little whacked-out stories that have happened along my life path and I chuckle.
Stories like the one where I canceled my wedding to the same man twice. And then married him the third time!
Maybe my life was meant to be more of a comedy or a drama series rather than a thriller or a horror.
Talking About it For the First Time
I actually have never written about this, let alone considered all the ways it likely impacted me emotionally and mentally.
How it inevitably created a plethora of obstacles and lessons about love and acceptance within my own life and within my marriage.
In this story, I will tell you what happened, why I made the choices I did, how freaking painful it all was…
And how when I look back on it all now, why I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
The Prelude
Like all love stories and romance novels, it helps you to have a little bit of a backstory about the characters.
Trevor and I were a part of the same friend group. He used to come in, every day, to the coffee shop where I worked, with his girlfriend and order a steeped orange pekoe tea with two milks and two sugars. He and some locals would all meet at this coffee shop to socialize and create some kind of shenanigans that I, the supervisor, would need to address.
He would go outside of the coffee shop and stand his large body against his Mitsubishi GT Sportscar, arms crossed like a boss. I would scoff at what I considered to be his vanity and cockiness.
Somehow, after a series of events, we ended up dating… for two weeks. And that was the end of that. It was playful but we both had no intentions of commitment and so that fizzled out quicker than a candle flame and water.
Years Later
Years later, I’m 24, just moved into my own cute two-bedroom townhome with my cute 3-year-old at the time, Ethan. It was him and I against the world, and I was super proud of myself for getting my own place and recently, a super well-paying job to hold it all together.
December 1st rolled around and it was time to put up the Christmas tree. I was chatting on MSN Messenger (remember that?), and Trevor popped into my inbox. (We remained friends after our sexy little fling.)
“Hey, what are you doing?” He asked.
“Oh, Ethan and I are just getting ready to put up the Christmas tree and decorate the house,” I answered.
“Do you want some help?”
And there it was. The lust and infatuation never truly did die, it was on temporary hold. I jumped at the offer and quickly prepared a plate of grapes, cheese and crackers, polished a couple of wine glasses, and turned on some Christmas tunes.
The rest is history. We had a magical evening. It was so much fun decorating the house together.
The best part about this all?
He never left… he was with me every single day from that day forward. He even sold his home on a lake and our true relationship began.
This is where the story really begins…
The Story Begins…
There’s a lot of other stuff I could explain in detail but this will turn into a novel if I do that. In short, he had a psycho ex-girlfriend I had to navigate, and he pretty much became a father to Ethan.
He taught him how to ride a bike, how to swim, and how to make a fire. He did all the dad things that I never once asked him to do, that Ethan’s real father never stepped up to do.
But he was so happy to be in our life. It made me freaking MELT.
This wasn’t the vain and cocky Trevor that I thought I knew.
This was a good man.
And he was mine.
This is when I realized I really loved him and wasn’t just infatuated with his sexy body or impeccable confidence.
The Proposal
On December 13, 2009, He proposed. At my family’s annual Christmas party. On his knees, at the head of the table, with a shaky voice yet so much conviction.
And I said yes.
We were married on July 27, 2013…. four years later.
The Four-Year Engagement
This is where I believe our relationship truly began.
This was the phase where we got to test each other before we actually unified as one, in marriage.
I’m sure you’re thinking by now… obviously, the Universe was giving you an out, Stephanie. How could you not see it?
But I didn’t see it that way.
I saw it as a chance to discover if a future together was worth fighting for. If we would be strong enough to withstand the ups and downs of life… together.
A Sudden Twist of Events…
Shortly after the proposal, I got to work setting a date, choosing my wedding party, looking for dresses, scheduling a venue and a DJ, and doing all the other exciting wedding planning stuff.
I love to plan.
Then, one day, my mom invited me to dinner, and that’s when she told me the harrowing news…
She had breast cancer.
And she would be in the thick of her chemotherapy during my wedding.
I was devastated. I wanted my mom to watch me get married, I wanted her happy and vibrant and feeling well. I suddenly realized that I didn’t want all the excitement and attention to be on me…
I wanted to focus on her getting better. And I didn’t want her to stress about all the wedding planning and the money that would go into it.
So I made the decision to cancel my wedding.
I cried for hours. Actually, I cried for days.
Forfeiting the deposit for my dress and knowing I wouldn’t be wearing it was probably the most painful part of the entire process.
But in hindsight… it was actually the unknown of it all that scared and hurt me the most.
Not knowing if mom would be okay.
Not knowing if I would actually end up marrying this man I loved so much.
Wondering if it was happening because maybe we actually weren’t meant to be together and this was the Universe’s way of giving us an out…
But I discovered that 3 times really is a charm.
… To be continued in Part 2!
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Wow this is so good! I wish it was a book and I could turn to the next chapter! Eagerly awaiting part 2!
Ohh, I am waiting for the part 2. And don’t lose the novel idea. Your story will make a good one.